


crush

by WattStalf



Series: Edith Blake [3]
Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Eddie is the only one genderbent, F/M, Rule 63, and a crush, dollar bill's casual sexism, just an innocent kiss, she's underage but since there's nothing sexual i didn't tag the warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:31:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5993311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edie absolutely does not have a crush on Dollar Bill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Birdschach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdschach/gifts).



> So, my fiance and I are idiots and this is our stupid crack ship of choice. Working off the same prompt of, "Rule 63 Eddie has a crush on Bill", we both wrote a fic. This is my take on it.

Edie Blake had a thing for performers, she figured. That was why she had been enamored of Sally Jupiter since the day they had met- though she'd never admit that she had any feelings for her teammate other than annoyance out loud, and that was why she had caught her eyes wandering to another of her teammates recently. Why that was her type was completely beyond her, as it didn't make any sense, but that was the only thing she could find in common between the two people that held her interest.

And there was a key difference between them that had messed with her original perception of what she was attracted to. She had assumed, since she had fallen so completely for Sally, that she liked women and only women. The boys had never managed to keep her interested and she had never been like the other girls anyway; it made sense to her that she would be that way. She had yet to admit that part of herself to anyone, but it was definitely there, and she had assumed that it was an exclusive attraction.

But Dollar Bill was not a woman by any stretch of the imagination. He was muscular and athletic and every bit the all-American man that he was presented as in his publicity gigs, and Edie hadn't been able to stand him. Bill was too goddamn wholesome, too much of a performer, and way too perfect, and Edie hated perfect.

So, between being a man and being everything she absolutely _did not like_ , it made little sense to her that she would have something of a crush on her older teammate. It had been bad enough, discovering that she had a crush on Sally, but to discover that she had one on Bill as well? She hated the way her heart would start racing, the way she would blush like some silly schoolgirl, the way she would catch herself grinning when she thought about them- it just wasn't her, and it left her so frustrated she wanted to punch something, and she often did.

Having crushes was for the air-headed girls who drooled over their movie star photos and fussed with their appearances and didn't have a care in the world. The only time Edie had ever fussed over  _her_ appearance was when she was planning her costume and otherwise, she didn't give a damn what she looked like. She knew that she wasn't pretty and that no amount of time would fix that. Hell, she didn't  _care_ enough to fix that, or at least that's what she always thought.

Sometimes, looking at Sally, she would not see the girl she wanted to do a number of unwholesome things to but would instead see something that she wasn't, and wondered what had to be done to make herself that beautiful. Of course, once she caught herself thinking that, she would banish those thoughts immediately, but that did not mean they weren't there sometimes. As much as she did not want to care, sometimes she was afraid that she did.

Liking Bill only made the problem worse. Whatever teenage girl did not let his ridiculous costume get in the way found herself smitten with him, and he was fawned over almost as much as movie stars, almost as much as Sally was fawned over by men. Liking Bill made Edie even more of the typical teenage girl she was always trying to prove that she wasn't. She was strong, she took care of herself, she was tough, and she was not some girly little thing who got caught up in a stupid crush.

Ever since she had set off on her own, running away from home and living her own life, she had been intent on proving she was better than anyone else her age. Becoming the Comedian had been a part of that, and joining the Minutemen had only made it more essential that she prove herself. The others didn't know her age for sure, but they all suspected she was younger than she claimed and she just knew that some of them had to look down on her for it.

So, she had a crush on Sally, big fucking deal. That set her plenty apart, that proved she was different, even if she would rather not be interested in anyone at all. But she would never accept the fact that she was... _average_ enough to be caught up in Dollar Bill's classic charms. Never.

She didn't like to spend more time than was necessary at the Minutemen headquarters, but they had an excellent gym that she couldn't resist taking advantage of sometimes. It wasn't hard to keep herself in shape from home, but some of the equipment there was nice, and it was even better when she really needed to blow off steam, and she  _really_ needed to blow off steam.

There was apparently something going on between Hooded Justice and Sally, though she hadn't seen it coming before it happened and she saw everything coming. In fact, she had very different suspicions regarding his relationships, but suddenly all anyone could talk about was the fact that they were going steady, and Sally had clung to his arm all through the meeting and then was assigned to patrol with him.

Watching her cling to him like that had really ticked Edie off, naturally, and since tonight was not one of her patrol nights, she couldn't take out her anger on unsuspecting criminals. She had to do things to old-fashioned way, and so she began laying into a punching bag, not bothering to hold back any of her rage. Once she was a bit more calm, she might lift weights, but for now, she was much too angry for something that required that much control.

“Whoa, slow down there,” a very familiar, very unwelcome voice spoke. At some point during her distraction, Dollar Bill had come into the gym and begun watching her workout. Of course- she had forgotten that he didn't have patrol that night either. Just her luck.

“And why should I?” she asked, not turning to face him and not letting up at all.

“Don't wanna hurt yourself,” he replied in that easy tone he always used, that had just a trace of his old Kansas drawl, just enough to drive most New York girls wild. Present company not included, she always had to remind herself. So what if he had a little bit of an accent? Her Kentucky one had not faded a bit since she had come to the city and it sure as hell didn't make _her_ any more charming.

Just to spite him, she through a harder punch, and then an even harder one. “Nothin' hurts me,” she grunted. It was true that her knuckles were starting to hurt, but that didn't count and she sure as hell wasn't going to let him know that.

Bill gave an impressed whistle and just stood there, watching her, and it took all she had not to turn around and punch him instead. Why wouldn't he leave her alone? Why was there a part of her that didn't want him to leave anyway? Her frustration that she had set out to relieve here was only growing and she could only hit so hard.

“What are you lookin' at?” she asked after a while, when he still did not leave. Her hands were really starting to ache and she gave it a rest for just a moment so that she could turn and glare at him.

“I was just watching you train,” he said, confused by her anger. “Is there a problem?”

“Yeah, it's called I can't focus with you fuckin' breathin' down my neck,” she replied.

“Hey, watch it,” said Bill, almost sounding hurt. “You shouldn't talk like that, you know?”

“And why not?”

“Because it's not right for a lady to talk like that.”

Edie rolled her eyes. “And who the fuck says I wanna be a lady?”

Bill glared at her now, knowing that she was just trying to get a rise out of him at this point. “I don't know what it is with the girl's on this team. Between you and Ursula...even Sally does a lot of things she shouldn't.”

“So whaddaya think we should be doing, then?” she asked, quirking a brow.

“Well, to be honest, the entire hero thing seems a little much, but you'll all get over it someday. You and Sally swear way too much and you and Ursula are too aggressive for your own good. I'm not saying any of you are bad people, I just think you could all be a little more feminine in some regards,” he said with a smile so sincere that she knew he actually believed every word he said.

“I don't know if either of them'll get over it or not, but I sure as hell know I'm not,” she said. “I don't do this just cos, I'm not gonna quit to be a lady or whatever it is you're goin' on about.”

“But what about when you grow up? You're still so young. What about when you want to get married?”

At this, Edie snorted. “Jesus Christ, it's like ya don't know me at all. If ya think I'd let any man change me that much, you're crazy. 'Sides, who says I wanna get married anyway?”

“You're sounding more like Ursula now.” He shook his head. “It's like I always tell her, when you meet the right man, you'll see. And you're much younger than her, so you still have time.”

“Would you shut the fuck up about my age already?” Her voice shifted into a warning tone. “Ya don't know the first thing about me.”

“Edie, it's pretty obvious that you're a lot younger than us. I mean, just from looking at you, I'd have to guess a teenager, and a young one at that.” He gave her a quick once-over, but not quick enough for her to ignore it and she felt her temper flare up.

Of course, she knew what he meant by that and she knew how he must see her. She was nowhere near as...developed as most girls her age, giving her the appearance of someone younger despite her height. Her costume didn't accentuate what she did have either, so it didn't help much. But, whether she looked it or not, she wasn't on the younger side of her teenage years.

“For your information,” she snapped, closing the distance between them and pointing at him, pressing her finger into his chest, “I'm _sixteen_ , alright?! I'm not a fuckin' _kid_ , so shut the fuck up!”

His face softened just a little bit in reaction to her anger, which only pissed her off more knowing that he was not getting mad back at her. “I didn't mean to...insult you by that, or anything.” She didn't back off, glaring up at him, looking ready to fight. “You're not as young as I thought. I'm sorry, okay?”

“I'm not _young_ at all. I'm practically an adult,” she snarled.

“You're still just a kid and-” He wasn't paying attention to her, he didn't have his guard up, and she cut him off with a punch to the jaw. His head snapped to the side and he groaned. Her chest heaved and she remained in a defensive pose, ready to knock him out if she had to.

“What the hell?” he asked, rubbing his sore jaw. “What was that for?”

“Can't say I didn't warn ya,” she replied. “Could a _kid_ hit ya that hard?”

“I guess not,” said Bill, looking irritated, “and neither could any lady, for that matter. Seriously, Edie, what is _wrong_ with you?”

“What's wrong with me? I'm tough an' you know it. I'm stronger'n most of you guys. I could be the strongest on the whole damn team if I tried hard enough. So why doncha stop givin' me shit for just bein' me?” By the end of her question she was yelling, getting more riled up than she intended.

“You're taking this too much to heart,” he observed. “Why does it bother you so much what _I_ think, if you're so sure of yourself?”

She was horrified to feel her face heating up- there was no way in hell she was blushing over this. “I don't care!” she protested, a bit too defensively. “I don't care at all! You think your opinion matters to me? Ha! That's a good one. Don't make me laugh...” She looked away, her face getting redder by the second.

“But you're getting so angry about it.”

“No I'm not!” she argued. Then, “I'm always angry!” She had just contradicted herself and she knew it, and she hated it. Bill had her so goddamn flustered, and she didn't know what was wrong with her. If anything, this encounter should have squashed whatever stupid attraction she had to him, but the feelings growing somewhere in the pit of her stomach begged to differ. She wanted to punch him again, right in that stupid, handsome face of his; she wanted to punch him or...

“Edie, you-”

She didn't punch him this time. Instead, she lunged, grabbing him by the ridiculous suspenders on his equally ridiculous costume and pulling his face against hers so that she could crush her lips against his. She'd never done this before, had never kissed anyone, but she thought she knew how it should go. She kept her lips planted firmly against his, keeping a tight hold on him even as he struggled.

He was surprised enough that his struggling was weak at first, but he was stronger than her, and when he regained his composure he pulled back. “What...Edie...what?” He was at a loss for words. She looked away, her face red, scowling, but she did not say anything.

“Why did you just kiss me?” he asked.

“To shut you up!” she burst out, lying quickly. “That's all it was for, okay? Hittin' ya didn't work, so I...”

Bill's face relaxed into an infuriatingly gentle smile. “Is that really why? Or did you have another reason?”

“Fuck no!” she shouted, clenching her fists, ready to strike him again. “Ya think I like you or somethin'? Bullshit!”

His smile didn't fade, not in the slightest, and suddenly he looked at her like more of a child, like more of a girl, than he ever had before. Bill chuckled, and she hated his laugh almost as much as she liked it. “Was that your first kiss?” he asked.

“Fuck you!” She pulled back a fist, but this time he saw it coming and he grabbed her wrist before she could actually hit him.

“It was just a little awkward, is all. Nothing wrong with it if it was. You're young, you've probably never been with a boy at all.” As he spoke, she fought against his hold and he grabbed her other arm to keep her from fighting. He was stronger than her and she hated it.

Even trying to kick him was futile as he managed to hold her far enough back that her legs wouldn't reach. Finally, she gave up her fight, panting and glaring at him. Still, he just grinned at her like an idiot. “You don't need to embarrassed about anything, Edie.”

“I'm not, I'm just pissed off! I don't- I haven't- fuck you!” He released his hold as she shouted at him, not managing to meet his eye. “That didn't mean shit, alright?”

“If you say so, but I'm still convinced it was your first.” When she didn't argue, he continued, “It's okay to like someone, you know?”

“Seriously, why doncha do me a favor and _fuck_. _Off_.”

“Alright, alright. If you insist. But I do think you deserve a better first kiss than that.” Before she had the chance to protest, he took her by the back of her head, pulled her into a warm, gentle kiss and she did not struggle for nearly as long as she knew she should have. His kiss was nothing like hers and she found that she loved it and she didn't want him to stop. She relaxed and wrapped her arms around his neck, following his lead and kissing him back.

When he did at last pull away, they stared at each other, Bill still wearing that annoying smile. “See, wasn't that better?” he asked.

She could have been honest and said yes, she could have confessed that she liked him just a little bit, she could have seen where things would go. But she knew, honestly, that he saw her as a child and that all of this was just cute to him, just humoring her because he thought it was adorable that the tough, mean Comedian had a crush. So she shoved him and muttered, “Fuckin' idiot,” before storming off.

Still, she couldn't fight a grin as she did so.


End file.
